GGB

My paternal grandmother (known among family as "GGB," i.e. Great-grandma Bette) passed away on Tuesday, August 14, 2012, after 93 years, 3 months of life.  I hope to detail the events around her funeral and share some of my favorite stories of her here, but this blog may continue to be a work in progress.  She truly did life the way it was meant to be lived.

The first step to honoring her memory was shaving my six-year-old beard, which I decided to vlog because (A) my friend Kayla McKinney always loves to vlog, so I thought it would be a unique experience to capture, and (B) because I am going to start applying for job interviews soon, which is about as stressful as public speaking, and filming yourself is always a recommended method to overcome that stress.  Albeit, I don't fear public speaking anymore (not after an utterly disappointing stint as a ring announcer in front of unruly pro wrestling crowds), so this was mostly for fun.  But still good practice nonetheless.

The Introduction: 1 minute
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj9PiLUzNI0

Part 1: 2 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAkO8j9G_Qk

Part 2: 5 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukhBFx04WDk

Part 3: 3 1/2 minutes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz1o1pMhdmw

Visiting GGB in November 2010; she hated my beard.

As it turned out, boning up on public speaking skills had more instant gratification than I expected.  When I arrived at the viewing on Friday, Uncle Ted asked if I could do one of the two readings at the funeral.  I agreed, knowing that my father used to be a Lector and I had never done it.  I was interested to learn who the other person was going to be to read the other reading.  I learned that night that it was also me.  No one in my family wanted to take the role.  I don't know if it was the lack of public speaking or just the situation itself.  I know plenty of family members who love attention, so I still think it was largely the latter (aside from those who I know were not personally close to GGB).

During the above-referenced footage, I mention that GGB was the only person I know who did not like my beard.  Albeit, I know my mother's approval was only given at the time because she was dating a nice bearded gentleman at the time I grew out mine.  The next afternoon, I cut my hair (it wasn't long enough to donate to Lock of Love) and I became a new man -- visually anyway.  I invited my girlfriend over that night to see the "new face," which was somewhat mean because she had explicitly voiced her opinion against my shaving, but GGB was a Taurus, so it's not surprisingly the stubborn bull won.

I reiterated to my girlfriend that I didn't know why GGB didn't like my beard, "unless I look more like my father without it."  Wendy promptly took me to the bedroom where I have a portrait of my father (slightly noticeable in my Blogger icon) and she confirmed that I looked a *LOT* more like my father without the beard, so GGB's disapproval made a lot of sense.  Also, Uncle Ted said that "she probably didn't like the beard, but I know she loved giving you Hell about it a lot more than she disliked it."

Regardless, having a visual reminder of my father at the funeral was a nice touch since I know (aside from my sister's wedding and the birth of her kids) it was one of few events that he would have truly wanted to be a part of since his death in 1990.  In fact, Uncle Ted pulled me aside and said when he looked up to watch me on the pulpit deliver the readings, it almost broke him down because it reminded him so much of his brother.

Sadly, her funeral will (more likely than not) mark the last time all eight grandchildren and five (living) sons plus daughters-in-law are together.  That point is slightly less upsetting when we consider that it was the first time all of us were together since my grandfather's memorial service in 1988.  Albeit, all but one made it to GGB's 90th birthday celebration in 2009.

In an attempt to memorialize our togetherness, we took several pictures together as a full group.  After the entire group was photographed, the sons had their picture taken.  The sun was setting to the left, and for some reason, Uncle Fred rested his arm outward across the bricks immediately to his right.  The sun cast a shadow of both sons in the form of another full body, which was almost a perfect silhouette of her deceased son (with Uncle Fred wrapping his arm around his shoulders).  It is a picture I look forward to viewing again and again.

All in all, the funeral and her viewing was classy with the right dose of fun.  Most of the Quay family attended (the stepchildren from her second marriage), which was good because they loved GGB as much as the rest of us, and every eulogy given was about GGB's powerful devotion to God, mostly citing in one phrase or another how "Bette was living proof against this myth that you cannot be Christian and fun-loving."  GGB loved life, and with her, zingers were always a second away (usually as soon as you let your guard down).

I remember my last visit in November 2010, less than 2 years ago, when I stayed at her place.  I had already independently perused all the pictures on her fridge (she had a lot of them, almost exclusively of family), so I was surprised when she called out to me "Come look at this picture, it's me from high school."  I went over to the fridge, and the picture was no less than 10 years ago with her in a blue dress and trademark gray hair.  She preceded to recount a mythical adolescence of complete bliss.  I was laughing too hard to remember the exact details, but it was very heart-warming -- and vintage GGB.

Nowadays, I look at that visit as a true blessing, because it was barely planned.  I was visiting friends on the other side of Cleveland, and my friend Emilyote was supposed to get me a day earlier, but she was under the weather and dreading the drive, so I told her to wait another day.  That gave me an unexpected 24 hours alone with GGB, which was a lot of fun and a nice memory to hold now that she has passed on from this life.