Tonight was my last shift at PETCO.
My girlfriend made the day more special for me by restocking my fridge with milk (in response to a Tweet I made the night before lamenting my inability to find time to buy milk while working two jobs) and buying my favorite cereal (which was exactly why I wanted milk, honestly), a block of extra sharp cheddar cheese, tortillas, fresh salad, and delicious apples. Regardless, retail is NOT my forte so, even though I found a good rhythm at the store and really enjoyed my time there, I was not going to miss it.
During my shift, my girlfriend asked (via text) if I was sad. Immediately after I replied ("Not even a little"), Finger Eleven "One Thing" came on the store's audio. I have been remiss in noting all the factors that went into my leaving finance, because there were so many and the reasons for leaving outnumbered the reasons to stay, but this song played a role. What sounds like such a beautiful triumph harbors so much defeat.
My personal attachment to the song begins (and ends) with Chris Benoit. When WWE released his DVD in 2004, on the heels of his ascension to the World Title status, they concluded his biography with this song. It fit his life story immaculately, but the first time I saw it, my vicarious joy in the success that his sacrifices bore suddenly turned into a harrowing sadness; I couldn't help thinking, "now what?" His life was for one purpose and once he reached the top, what was left in life? Nowadays, when I hear the song, the tragedy of the Benoit family murders taints it with an all-encompassing melancholy.
The misplaced wisdom of the song's message wouldn't have struck me so harshly tonight, but-for my reasons for seeking employment at PETCO in the first place.
I started the Paralegal Studies Program at Phoenix College in May 2011. I quit my job of 8.5 years at Vanguard a month earlier, and I was comfortable enough that I could have completed the program without part-time employment, but it did not take long for me to realize I *needed* some income. Sitting back and watching all my savings dissipate was too much to take, so I sought part-time work.
At that point, I had two logical options. I could apply at law firms for a foot-in-the-door, or I could apply at nearby retail stores in an unrelated field. I opted the latter based on the future wisdom of what I would rather have done 10 years from now. I figured if I started a career in law immediately, then I would burn out on it sooner (or worse, I could get a souring experience). If I learned something new, as was my personal mantra in 2011, then I could look back and appreciate filling that small window of opportunity with something completely different than where I had been or where I was going.
Life isn't about one thing. Life is all things. So many people get stuck in their "one thing" and lose out on the rest. I heard the song, but I didn't like the message. I chose to make my life more than one thing. God willing, a lot more.
It was a perfect time to be reminded of my decision, so closely removed from cursing that same decision during the two months I applied for several jobs in law each week but not getting more than one isolated interview (largely because I had forgotten to attach my resume to the application).
Today, I am happily employed in a small law firm handling bankruptcy, Family Law, and civil cases simultaneously. I feel it is a golden opportunity to make a lasting career in the law field, and I cannot wait to learn whatever I can in this newest endeavor.
