According to the time, I was at Wal-Mart buying a Pepsi Max and AAA batteries in order to withdrawal $20 to give to Amy, with whom I had just eaten at Arby's. Although I generally refer to Amy simply as my friend, she and I were dating for about 3 years between 2006 and 2009. My reasoning for calling her a friend is that is the main reason we are still friends. I am not necessarily the type of person to keep an ex-girlfriend in my life out of a warped sense of loyalty, or especially not out of an obsessive feeling of ownership as the incoming text seemed to imply.
 |
| Outside All State Arena in Chicago, where we met. |
I was greatly perplexed by this message because Amy had not mentioned a new guy in her life at all, so I had no clue why she would think that I was taking her for dinner in order to block her from anyone else or, even worse, to mark my spot. Obviously, this text was not intended for my eyes, which made the context all the more troubling. While I am extremely non-confrontational most of the time, I barely wasted a moment before I called Amy. It was 20 minutes after the text had been sent, and as far as I knew, she was unaware that it went to me, not the intended recipient.
I told her that I was driving home and I had just received an interesting text. She was genuinely interested in what I had to say next, but as I expected, she was unaware that I received it. I told her and she laughed it off as if it were no big deal.
Unfortunately, I had not really planned that reaction so I had nowhere to go in the conversation. Luckily, my first question was the one that I needed answered. She explained that the text was intended for a friend of hers who was teasing her about my constantly coming around every time Amy was interested in someone new. As far as I knew, this had only happened once or twice before and I thought our interactions during that time were mutually supportive. I found it very hard to believe if I had been duped and, all this time, Amy thought of me more like a pushover than a friend.
Maybe I was wrong. The true irony is that my own interest in another girl had been building in recent weeks, not that I've told Amy. As I turned out, my instincts were right and the text was truly written mostly in jest.
She explained that she had recently started chatting with a guy online that she liked, so it was odd that I invited her out to dinner out of the blue (it wasn't "odd" because we frequently dine together, often on Sunday evenings) shortly after she had grown an attachment. I reminded her that we had not even been discussing the guy, as far as I knew, and I had no idea about the timing. She said that she knew, but it was an inside joke between her and this particular friend.
 |
| Amy and I dated for three years. |
The true irony is that I cut my conversation with Amy short as soon as I got home to talk to my neighbor: one I insisted would make a good friend for Amy but also, one I had nicknamed "Hot Kristy" when I met her several years prior. I wanted to talk to Kristy for two reasons: first, because I had not seen her in a while, in fact not since I managed to land her the ownership of everybody's favorite neighborhood cat, and secondly, I wanted to get her opinion on this text to find out whether I was over-reacting.
Kristy read it, and I explained the circumstances around the situation. Then, she told me just about everything I needed to know in her response, "it wasn't (written) very nice."
Regardless, by the time I hung up with Amy, I was comfortable with the nature of our friendship. Kristy's words actually made me feel good. It was the first time that I ever confronted an uncomfortable situation directly and immediately. I really don't encounter too many of these situations, but it's good to know that I can nip them in the bud when they arise.
